“Trans rights are human rights!!! Trans rights are human rights!!!”
Watching the video of Riley Gaines, former NCAA swimmer and outspoken opponent of transgender men competing in women’s sports, being verbally and physically assaulted by transgender activists was disturbing.
I’m always disturbed by people screaming at or physically assaulting others, no matter who is involved and for whatever agenda they are pushing.
Whether it’s “left-wing” activists disrupting speeches on college campuses with vulgarity or “right-wing” activists storming the U.S. Capital, let’s stop and think for a moment: What causes people to act this way? What’s with all the anger, disregard for others, intolerance, petulance, and violence these days? Could it be…
Feeling Out of Control of One’s Circumstances + Visceral Urge to Be in Control of Those Circumstances + A Lack of Self-Control = Chaos.
There’s a lot to be angry about in our world, and many opportunities to feel out-of-control. When we reach the point where we don’t trust anyone but ourselves, it’s natural to seek control of our identity. Yet, how ironic that some who desire control of their identity, their “self,” often do so without self-control. They passionately declare their identity as sacred, non-negotiable, and worthy of adoration yet lack the ability to control how they respond to others with whom they disagree. The days of “We can agree to disagree,” are being replaced with “If you disagree with me, you’re evil and should be punished.”
Much of this unruliness results from people choosing to identify as the pain they experience in life, resulting in a victim mentality, rather than identifying with that pain, engendering empathy for others. More on this in Part 2 of this blog post.
Self-control is not self-loathing, robotic, dispassionate withdrawal from others. It’s evidence of maturity, and, if fostered, becomes a strong foundation resulting in patience, objectivity, empathy, and measured responses rather than knee-jerk reactions. We may not be able to control our circumstances, but we should be able to control our response to those circumstances.
Self-control is something toddlers lack.
Any parent or teacher knows how challenging it is to be rational with an unreasonable, petulant, angry toddler throwing a tantrum. While this might be a “normal” stage of human development, it should be just that—a temporary stage, where the child learns to express their emotions more constructively.
Sound familiar in today’s adult culture?
When my sons went through their toddler stage, I tried to establish three things:
They are loved and safe in my care.
Tantrums are unacceptable.
There are consequences for throwing tantrums.
Clearly these tenets are lacking today. Adults are allowed, sometimes encouraged, to act like toddlers—to throw tantrums, disrespect others, destroy property, verbally or physically assault people, lie, cheat, and steal. Whether these folks were failed by those who had the opportunity to help them develop self-control or they chose to reject such tutelage, we have a growing sector of large toddlers trying to get their way—a lot of people starving for attention on their terms and a lot of people being hurt in the process.
This should be disheartening to us. Excusing bad behavior has enabled everyone from Antifa to White Nationalists to ruin the lives of fellow citizens who largely desire only to care for their family and friends and live a peaceful life.
So, what was Riley Gaines saying that gave license to others to assault her verbally and physically? Ironically, she simply wanted the same things her assailants purport to support—respect—and was met by toddlers throwing tantrums.
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