Each year the teaching staff at our school was allotted a “Wellness Day”— intended to recharge our physical, emotional, and spiritual batteries. Being an educator is a high and difficult calling, and indeed we need to “come away” with Jesus (Mark 6:30-31) as often as possible.
I took mine this month and was not prepared for what God had in store. I guess that’s the point of a wellness day…we’ve reached a point where we need God yet aren’t always sure why.
So, there I was on my wellness day ready to spend time with the Lord. Sitting in my apartment, coffee and Bible in hand, I prayed, “Lord, what do you want me to do?” The sense I got from the Holy Spirit came quickly and clearly: “Get in your car and drive.” “Drive where, Lord?” I asked. “Just drive. I will lead you,” He responded. I headed toward a nearby lake and put my navigation in His hands.
“Here, Lord?” I asked, as I passed a quiet parking spot near the lake. “Keep driving,” He said. “Here, Lord?” I asked, as I passed a beautiful park. “Keep driving,” He said. I found myself driving through several communities, admiring homes as big as hotels. As the road became more rural, I noticed a small cemetery and thought, “That would certainly be a quiet place to stop.” Continuing past it, the Holy Spirit directed me to turn around and head back to that cemetery.
In keeping with the rural environment, the entrance to the cemetery was unremarkable. I slowly drove in and found a place to park. Sitting there quietly in my car, I grabbed my Bible and said out loud, “Here I am, Lord.” The silence continued, except for a wind chime hanging in the tree above me. Looking around, I noticed a wreath had fallen over near a headstone, and a cross was askew on top of another. I got out to take care of these, and turning back to my car I stood silently before a large headstone with a picture of a very young baby adorning the granite façade.
The child had lived just two months before he went on to glory.
I stood there alone among the oaks and gravestones, the wind chime resonating in the wind, and cried. I couldn't imagine the pain the family of this child was enduring. It also brought to mind the pain and suffering of so many in the world. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit "whispered" to me,"You're hurting, too."
In no way am I comparing my situation to the loss of a child. My burdens in comparison to this and so many other situations are microscopic, yet God cares about them all. God wanted me to know that He was aware of my needs and had a desire to meet them. We all carry burdens, some greater than others. In that cemetery I began giving over to God a laundry list of painful things—from personal challenges to how I process the pain of others---and there found encouragement and hope.
God brought me to an isolated cemetery to reveal the pain of others, as well as my ongoing need for Him
As I wiped tears from my eyes, I noticed a Bible passage on the child's headstone: Psalm 139. I went back to my car and read the passage. I encourage you to read it, but in summary it asserts that God formed us, God knows us, and God cares about us. I was then reminded of 1 Peter 5:7 – “Cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you.” Somehow I had allowed things out of my control to control me, and I needed to cast those cares on Him.
Our life in Christ, and a resulting biblical worldview, is not a program. It’s not a checklist of things to do. It is seeing things through God’s eyes and letting Him bring wellness to our souls.
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